Saturday, November 26, 2011

Two Years Later.....

As I'm sitting in my comfy clothes watching "How I Met Your Mother" it hits me--hard. Tomorrow marks two years that we've been trying to get pregnant. And we continue to try, trusting God to bless us with a child. I know there are hundreds of women who have waited longer than two years and I'm not trying to make light of their wait by spotlighting our struggle. My heart aches for anyone who struggles to conceive a child. It's a painful journey to be on. The tension that exists when a friend calls or I see yet another FB post that says, "I'm pregnant!" is difficult to navigate. I rejoice with her. I am happy for her. I "like" her status. Then, I cry asking God, "How much longer will we wait?" I trust God's timing is best. I know His plan is better than mine. But, some days it's just hard. Some days the fear is overwhelming, frightening. Some days it takes everything in me to remain in the room when children, pregnancy, or motherhood is discussed.

Two years later. I continue to wait, continue to trust, continue to believe that God's plan is best--even when I don't understand.

So, I prepare for tomorrow. Whatever that means; however that looks. I am thankful for much, yet longing still.

".....always giving thanks to God the Father for everything, in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ." (Eph. 5:20)

Thursday, November 24, 2011


"Give thanks to the Lord, for He is good; His love endures forever."Ps. 107:1

For these and many others, I say, "Thank-you, Jesus"

Blessing #1: Jesus' death and resurrection which has given me life and freedom
Blessing #2: My loving, patient, funny, strong, honest, forgiving, coffee-loving, book-reading, networker extraordinaire, amazing husband, Lee Bickerstaff
Blessing #3: Family (even when my patience is hanging on by a thread I still love them and wouldn't trade them for any other family)
Blessing #4: Friends (I couldn't ask for better)
Blessing #5: The best job E.V.E.R.
Blessing #6: Ministry partners....THANK-YOU so very much! 
Blessing #7: I hate being sick, but I don't have to deal with that often. I'm very thankful for my health
Blessing #8: A good palate, which I'm especially grateful for when drinking coffee and wine 
Blessing #9: My growing appreciation for books
Blessing #10: Food (which I have plenty of and enjoy often)