As I'm sitting in my comfy clothes watching "How I Met Your Mother" it hits me--hard. Tomorrow marks two years that we've been trying to get pregnant. And we continue to try, trusting God to bless us with a child. I know there are hundreds of women who have waited longer than two years and I'm not trying to make light of their wait by spotlighting our struggle. My heart aches for anyone who struggles to conceive a child. It's a painful journey to be on. The tension that exists when a friend calls or I see yet another FB post that says, "I'm pregnant!" is difficult to navigate. I rejoice with her. I am happy for her. I "like" her status. Then, I cry asking God, "How much longer will we wait?" I trust God's timing is best. I know His plan is better than mine. But, some days it's just hard. Some days the fear is overwhelming, frightening. Some days it takes everything in me to remain in the room when children, pregnancy, or motherhood is discussed.
Two years later. I continue to wait, continue to trust, continue to believe that God's plan is best--even when I don't understand.
So, I prepare for tomorrow. Whatever that means; however that looks. I am thankful for much, yet longing still.
".....always giving thanks to God the Father for everything, in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ." (Eph. 5:20)
