THANKSgiving

"Give thanks to the Lord, for He is good; His love endures forever."Ps. 107:1


For these and many others, I say, "Thank-you, Jesus"


Blessing #1: Jesus' death and resurrection which has given me life and freedom
Blessing #2: My loving, patient, funny, strong, honest, forgiving, coffee-loving, book-reading, networker extraordinaire, amazing husband, Lee Bickerstaff
Blessing #3: Family (even when my patience is hanging on by a thread I still love them and wouldn't trade them for any other family)
Blessing #4: Friends (I couldn't ask for better)
Blessing #5: The best job E.V.E.R.
Blessing #6: Ministry partners....THANK-YOU so very much! 
Blessing #7: I hate being sick, but I don't have to deal with that often. I'm very thankful for my health
Blessing #8: A good palate, which I'm especially grateful for when drinking coffee and wine 
Blessing #9: My growing appreciation for books
Blessing #10: Food (which I have plenty of and enjoy often)

Enthralled

"The King is enthralled by your beauty...." (Ps. 45:11).


 Even when I'm at my worse--hormonal, crabby, emotional, selfish--the King is enthralled by me.  Does He want the condition of my heart to change?  Yes, but His view of me is not hinged on my behavior.  I am beautiful to Him, period.

I come to the throne of my King vulnerable, broken, surrendered.  I choose to believe, even when I don't feel it, that I am beautiful to Him.  I honor Him for all He's done for me.  I follow His call in obedience because of the love relationship I have with Him.  I find freedom from pretending, freedom from seeking, freedom to be who He created me to be.        

Do you think you're beautiful?  Do you believe and live like the King of the universe is enthralled by you?  

Strong Anchor

Chaos.  Waiting.  Craziness.  Uncertainty.  These words only begin to scratch the surface of my life recently.  These aren't necessarily all bad or difficult.  Sometimes the wait is exciting.  Sometimes the chaos is refreshing.  Sometimes the uncertainty causes butterflies in my stomach, much like a first date.  Sometimes none of that is true and the chaos, the wait, the craziness, the uncertainty, well, it just sucks.  Rather than safety and security, life can be shaky, unreliable, painful, and dangerous.

THEN.....my eyes lock on Jesus.  My anchor.  My refuge.  My stability.  My security.  When life is whirling around me with no plans to stop or slow down, I find rest in Christ.  I catch my breath in the safety of His arms.  His grace strengthens me.  His love sustains me.  His words nourish my tired heart.  His tears bring comfort when I long for someone to feel with me.

This verse was a breath of fresh air for me today: "Therefore, we who have fled to Him for refuge can have great confidence as we hold to the hope that lies before us.  This hope is a strong and trustworthy anchor for our souls.  It leads us through the curtain into God's inner sanctuary.  Jesus has already gone in there for us.  He has become our eternal High Priest in the order of Melchizedek." (Heb. 6:18-20)

I am so thankful Jesus is a strong and a trustworthy anchor when I am weak and tossed about in this journey called life.

     

Sweet Whispers; Loving Arms

Since I was a little girl, I've envisioned being a mother.  It's been one of the greatest desires of my heart, and yet, it's still only a desire, a longing.  

Lee and I have been trying to get pregnant since November of 2009.  Twenty-one months later, we are still trying.  This is the most difficult trial I have ever had to walk through.....ever. 

I had begun to lose hope that God hears my prayers.  I had begun to lose hope that God cares about this longing in my heart to be a mother, to have a family.  I had begun to lose hope that He sees my tears.  


But, today, God gave me a gift, a sweet reminder of the God I serve.

Parents find it very difficult, painful actually, to hold their baby while the pediatrician pokes them, numerous times, to administer life-saving vaccines.  But they do it.  Why?  Because it is best for their baby; it could save their life.

Today I felt like a baby looking up at my heavenly Father, crying, and asking Him, “Why are you doing this to me?  Don’t you see how painful this is?”  Gently, the Holy Spirit reminded me, “Yes, He does see how painful this is,but He is not withholding anything from you. He is doing what is in your best interest. Trust Him. He loves you.”

I felt God’s arms wrap around me even more tightly when He softly whispered, “It hurts me that you hurt so much.”  Like a parent, who is often crying with their baby, while the doctor administers painful shots; so is my heavenly Father.

Immediately, Hebrews 4:15-16 popped into my head: “This High Priest of ours understands our weaknesses, for He faced all of the same testing we do, yet He did not sin.  So, let us come boldly to the throne of our gracious God. There we will receive His mercy, and we will find grace to help us when we need it most.”

Each month God grieves with me; He cries with me.  I don’t serve a God void of emotions.  I am His child and He doesn’t enjoy seeing me in pain, but He also knows (better than I) what is best for me.  So, even though this chapter of my life is painful and I don’t understand what God has planned or why we aren’t getting pregnant, I am choosing to trust that God is good.  He is not withholding good things from me.  He sees my tears.  He knows my heart, my desires, and my longings.  He is doing what is best and, oh, how He loves me.